Wednesday, September 15, 2010

badbadbad.

Well.... today is my boy's birthday.  So, you would think, do something special for him! Right?  You'd be wrong.  He was up all night because he had a bunch of difficult quizzes for classes today.  We didn't even have time to read the Bible together. :(  Then I got a Facebook message from my trainer, saying that she called the vet, and is going to have my horse be put down, as he's not getting any better over three weeks, and has taken a major turn for the worse.  He's losing weight from stress, his feet are so sore he can barely walk, and his coffin bone is rotated.  He was laying down in stall when I got there, but he managed to stand up as soon as I came over.  He seemed to cheer up a bit.  He had manure mixed in with his alfalfa, and several piles inside his stall, which is completely unlike him.  I brushed him out really well, and you could tell he was sore.  He put most of his weight on his back feet, and had his front feet out in front of him.  He seemed to be a little better after he'd been standing for a while, but not much. =/  Poor guy.  When you got up, you could see how much it hurt.  :(  Red, the other horse I love, did something to her eye, we don't know what.  
I still have a math lesson to do... we'll see how much I understand.  I finished mine last night at 1am. >_<  
Oh yeah, and Mom forgot to take my boy's letter into the office with her to mail it.  This day just gets better and better. At least there's AWANA tonight.... let's hope I'm not an emotional wreck for it. I'll get some much needed hugs, at least.

Friday, September 10, 2010

miserable.

Ughhhh!  I'm just miserable today.  My time started last night unexpectedly, and we didn't even have any stuff for me.  Only my mom's huge, bulky, uncomfortable ones.  I could barely fall asleep because my cramps were so bad, and Mom was mad at me for not knowing that we were out of my stuff, even though she keeps track of it in the shed. x( I don't even know where out there it is!  I'm exhausted, and have barely talked to my boy at all today.  I went back to my bedroom and took a two hour nap, and I'm still tired.  My boy won't be back anytime soon either... there's a dorm-wide party for the guys and girls to get together.  It's basically a singles night with mandatory participation. :( I'm not worried about him, I just wish we could talk.  I miss my sweetie so much!  My parents also decided that they don't really like him any more, so I don't know if I'll even get to see him this year. :'(  I sent my brothers outside for an hour and I barely got a half hour of peace. Christian tried to get Joseph sent in, and kept calling me.  Then Joseph was pounding on the door like he was going to die. And I couldn't get a hold of Dad for the longest time.  For some reason, he decided not to answer his cell phone, so I had to call the office and get the call transferred to him.  To top it off, my boy is struggling more than ever, personally, and I don't know how much longer I can take it.  He's not loving to me when he messes up, and he's trying to get me to be okay with that, and still give him pictures of me.  I don't think so.  I'm afraid that he's not pursuing God closely enough, but he tells me I'm annoying when I try to be the Christian I am and hold him accountable for it.  I still believe that God put us together as a pair, but it's really hard to be there for him.  I'm afraid that if I leave him, even temporarily, he'll never trust me again.  So many others have left him with broken promises.... I know he's afraid that I'll do the same.  I don't want to, but I'm afraid that I may have to for a time to get him to be serious about fighting his demons.  It's messing with his relationship with me and his relationship with God, and I don't think he understands how serious it is.  I love him, but I'm turning into an emotional wreck, and I can't live like this.
Pray for me?


The only two bright spots in this week have been my trips to the barn, on Wednesday and Thursday.  Even then, it's not totally happy.  Connor's feet are seriously sore, he can't be ridden.  Thankfully, he's back to himself character wise.  On Wednesday, I got to ride one of the rescue horses, Red, for the second time.  She is absolutely AMAZING!  I LOVE riding her so much.... I want to ride her more often, like, all the time!  She's obviously had dressage training.  She yields perfectly to rein and leg aids, and obeys wonderfully.  She's very friendly, and incredibly light to control.  She has the most gorgeous, perfect, jog, and loves to go!  It's awesome!  Thursday, all I got to do was brush out Connor and help out, but it's still fun. :)
-Lizzie out.

Monday, September 6, 2010

labor day.

 I'm so bummed!  It just deleted everything I had written.  And I had written a lot.  I guess I'll try to recreate it. :(


Upcoming Events:
9/11 anniversary on Saturday.
Also on Saturday is Murder Mystery Weekend in Port Orchard.
AWANA starts on the 22nd.
Chemistry will be on Fridays, starting in October.


Recent happenings:
Saturday, Joseph and I spent 3 hours chopping and stacking wood.  I did take a 15 minute break, during which time, I got to talk to my hubby on the phone! :D
Yesterday was amazing.  It began with a phone call at 6am (PST) from my boy, wanting to spend some quality time with me. :)  We talked for nearly an hour, then slept for another hour.  I woke up just as he did, and just in time to catch him online for a minute before he left for lunch. :)  Dad made our family a big breakfast (eggs and french toast....yummy!), and church was awesome.  I actually got to greet people again, for the first time in ages!  I had algebra tutoring after church...bleh.  But hey, it went really well, and I understand the next lessons much better now.  I wish I was better at math.  On the way home, Mom bought me two chicken sandwiches and a Hershey's pie at Burger King, which is a rare thing.  To top it off, when I got home, I logged in online at the same time as my man, and we got to talk for more hours! As a final treat, Dad made fresh salmon for supper! :)
Yesterday was a wonderful day.


Today, my brothers aren't behaving themselves very well, so they are both back in their bedroom at the moment, in time out.  The weather is just kinda....blah.  It's not raining, but it's overcast and windy.  However, it's a bright overcast, so I may try to squeeze in some photography today. :)  My sweetie has no classes, being it's Labor Day, but I still have schoolwork.  Mom and Dad decided to have us start school as long as they still have to work.  So to algebra it is.
-Lizzie out.

Friday, September 3, 2010

long time, no see

I apologize for not writing for such a length of time.  
Obviously, I am no longer sick.
Oh gosh... so much has happened since my last post.


1. I went trail riding. Yay!
2. AWANA Camp! :D I got to see my boy!
3. He came back and stayed here for a week.  I failed at taking a lot of pictures, again. x(  We only have one picture of the two of us, taken in the car on his way back home.  Mom and Dad had to work almost all week, so we mostly stayed home.  The first full day he was here, Sunday, we had a booth at a local event called the Port Orchard Cruz.  This involved old cars (not many though, poor weather), and lots of booths.  That day, the hubby and I walked to the local theater and saw Step Up 3, and I showed him around downtown.  That was awesome.  Thursday, we went for a hike in Staircase Forest.  I took a bunch of pictures there... it was a really nice trail.  The next Saturday, we had a booth at Allyn Days.  We pretty much hung around.  I saw a bunch of people from church, which was really nice, ate at McDonalds, and had a lot of Starbucks. :P  Sunday, we went to church, went to a friend's house for lunch, came home, packed up his stuff, and we left for Centralia, where we met his parents at the Nike Clearance store.  I did get some Nike clothes, which was nice, but then he only had a week and a half left....which brings me to my fourth point.
4. My boy left for college on August 25th! :'(  I spent a couple of days pretty torn up over it, missing him horribly, crying a lot.  Luckily, I'm doing better now.  His best friend has been really awesome to me, letting me talk about my boy all the time.
So now you're all caught up.
He'll be back for a week over Thanksgiving, and a week and a half over Christmas.  That's it.  Hopefully I'll see him at some point.  I miss him!
5. School is starting up again.  I'm going to be a sophomore, 10th grade.  Taking chemistry.  I'll be 16 in a few months.  Time flies.  My life is already speeding toward the future. I can't wait to be married to my sweetheart. <3
6. Last Saturday was the Kitsap County Fair.  I took a bunch of horse pictures and got to hang out with my homeschool friends, Patty, Anna, Nathan, and their friends, Amy and Briana (I think).
-Lizzie out. <3